Watch Out! We're Mad!

8/5/09 03:15 pm

I can't help but be totally sickened by this brand new violence that sprouted up in Pittsburgh - the guy going into the gym and shooting people, killing 4. I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that we've seen so many horrible acts of random violence over the past few years. Apparently, they are saying it's because he couldn't find a girlfriend?! So he decides to kill people? Then there are all those digusting school shootings - wasn't the Virginia Tech guy killing people because of girl-related issues? or something? I'm not usually one to discuss news or recent events - but this is something that has really been sticking with me today. I thought that writing it out might make me feel better.

I'm also pretty conflicted about an article that John Waters wrote recently - he has a new book coming out on people he likes/has been influenced by. One of the people is one of those Manson people. I only read a bit of the article, but I know he's always been against the death penalty and he's all for rehabilitation - which in theory sounds ok. I don't know how I feel about that issue. Despite the fact that I love horror movies, I actually am completely horrifed and disgusted by real-life violence. Those Manson murders sounded hideous and calculated. I never understood Waters' fascination with those people. I certainly like his movies a lot, but that was one thing I could never relate with. I thought he did a good job at satirizing criminal celebrity worship with Female Trouble and Serial Mom but I only like that in the context of a film. A piece of fiction. I can't ever imagine being intereted in real life murderers, much less correspond with them. I need to read his entire article once it's out and see what I think.

It also seems like all these current violent outbursts end with the killer taking their own lives. And they seem to always find evidence that the person was going through stress, trauma whatever. But why does this automatically equate to taking other people's lives? It's so horrible and confusing and makes me so angry. It's easy to suddenly think, "Well, god, they need to get rid of the guns"...but then you hear about non-gun related random outbursts of violence. Ugh. Is the world just getting worse and more fucked-up? or is it that since there is constant news coverage, that anytime something happens anywhere, we hear about it immediately? why is everyone freaking out and killing people? the econonmy? it's all so depressing. i wish there was something i could do. i can't help but imagine being in a random violent act or knowing someone who is involved. the thought of that terrifies me. what would i do? what if i lost a friend or loved one in some random act of violence? i know you can't live your life thinking about that stuff, but when you hear about it almost everyday it does something to your sense of safety. Then it makes me think about all the war stuff - how in other countries, entire villages are blown up and suicide bomber people go into buildings and kill everyone. Ugh. I wish I had some sort of wise insight or calming attitudes and feelings. It's just so exhausting - at least I've been so blessed in my life that I've never had to directly deal with these nightmares. but i can't help but think - somewhere in the back of my mind - will it happen? WILL it become a part of my life at some point? i guess all you can really do is live your life, pay attention to what's going on around you and just appreciate the shit out of the good things you have in your life.

7/30/09 02:54 pm

I have a headache. I'm keeping a headache journal cause I've been having them often. I'm probably being paranoid - the weather has been super crazy, all over the place. things are blah as usual. took ursula to the vet this morning to look at the brown speck in her eye. the vet was useless, have to go to a kitty eye person. been reading more which has been really rewarding - reading a great collection of short stories called alfred hitchcock presents stories for late at night. discovered some great new authors in it that i want to read more from. all i want to do is stay at home with len and the kitties. just lay on the couch an be all jabba the hutt-ed out. i'm over movies right now, everything is just so uninteresting. work is the same. nothing much really on my mind except friending my favorite celebrity people on facebook. i'm so lame. i try to hard to be everyone's friend. i really want to go home and lay in bed and just sleep.

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7/1/09 11:33 am

boy, it's been awhile since i posted anything here. still back and forth on continuing this page. but whatever, i'll leave it - at least it's here if i want/need it. everything is fine. year's half over - nothing exciting to report. still have a long list of stuff i want to do - from creative stuff to health/well being stuff. you know, the same. watching movies a lot as always and just spending all my free time at home which I guess makes me a shut-in, but I'm ok with it. i haven't been reading despite having 213421312 books to choose from. work is ehh. what else is new. mom upset me last week with dad stuff. dale moved out his mom's house after 33 years! living with mary jane...kitties are great, i love them and wish i could just stay with them all day long. len is fine - he's been putting up with me which is very patient of him. i can be quite difficult. i don't give a crap about michael jackson dying which is all that's on the news. i thought everyone hated him and made fun of him? this world is weird and crazy and just seems to be getting worse. I've actually been feeling OLD which i never thought would happen - i have no idea who these celebrities are today...i look at magazine covers at the grocery and i'm like WHO? i have no idea about technology or the new stuff...like iphones or texting. don't really care.

5/20/09 12:32 pm - boringtown, u.s.a.

i really have nothing to say anymore - like, about ANYTHING. Work is the same and I check that dumb Facebook constantly. Um. I started another blog, but that one is collecting a lot of dust as well. Let's see what else - I'm in that mode where I'm not paricularly inspired by or obsessed with anything. It's a yucky, empty feeling. Not quite a depression, since I'm not really SAD...just sort of. Blah. Like stare at the back of my eyelids blah. Staring off into space blah. I have a few things that I'm THINKING of doing - like three paintings laying on the floor that I started and now just sort of glance at. Um. Maybe look into writing a screenplay? HAHA...oh Eric, you and your desire to be such a RENAISSANCE MAN. A few highlights from the past few months -

- the art show was great, met lots of neat people and working with all of the artists was a rewarding and rich experience.
- got a new postcard from john waters which was pretty exciting...although, i'm still disappointed that he, like, doesn't want to be INCREDIBLY CLOSE SUPER BEST FRIENDS WITH ME. Ha.
- I've been corresponding with Glenn Shadix on Facebook and he invited Len and myself to his house warming party in Birmingham. He's a pretty sweet guy! Not sure if it was a blanket, general invite or if he really was interested in us attending. Will probably go.
- Um. Facebook stuff...love my Shirley Stoler and Sydney Lassick groups...ahaha I'm a character actor DORK PSYCHO.
- The only movie I've really enjoyed lately was Vigilante with Robert Forster.
- Mom came to visit, that was nice. I turn weird when my mom is around.
- really wish i could keep up with a journal, i'm just so boring and never do anything.
- saw dale over the weekend.
- haven't heard from susu since november.
- emailed tom desimone and got a nice email back. hadn't talked to him in awhile.
- a new job would be nice...doing something at least interesting and/or challenging (in the good way)
- still smoking.
- got a great creepshow "fluffy" the crate monster doll from a friend. amazing. sent him my framed creepshow lego prints.
- bye.

3/20/09 03:33 pm - We Are Going to Eat You!

We Are Going to Eat You
Originally uploaded by Mom Smackley

Only a couple more weeks!

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3/18/09 11:33 am

The art show I've been working on is finally taking shape. Everyone I've been working with has been so awesome and gracious.

3/13/09 11:19 am

Maybe I'm getting less cultured as the years go by...I certainly don't have the patience anymore for movies (despite the fact that MOVIES ARE MY LIFE). I watched RASHOMON the other night and , although I liked the IDEA behind it, I was totally bored and irritated by it. I guess I was expecting more, like an interesting twist ending. I do understand where the film lies historically as far as telling a story through a new and unusual way, but I just don't see why it's considered so amazing. I find it harder and harder to watch older films where the acting styles were so different. I find myself more annoyed than entertained.

I did force myself through RASHOMON so at least I can say I watched it (so what?)...I'd still rather have watched BEETHOVEN or POLICE ACADEMY 4: CITIZENS ON PATROL. I guess I'm even more lowbrow than I realized. Maybe RASHOMON would have entertained me more if there were more fart jokes and more overweight actors. Toshiro Mifune was pretty hot in the film, though.

I've decided I am just going to BE Sydney Lassick going forward.

3/6/09 07:47 am

I have a couple things on my mind - well, 3...

I think I'm going to start blogging here;
http://momsmackley.blogspot.com/
Isn't it pretty? I want to make a cool banner where I have a drawing of me in a little hut beckoning a bunch of Yetis to come inside...you know, Yeti Hideout.

Um, the other things are movie related of course...

1) Nurse Ratched IS NOT THAT BAD A PERSON.

Why is the term "Nurse Ratched" become such a stigma...she was doing her job to the best of her abilities. I mean, that is probably a high stress job and I'm sure you have to stick to some routines otherwise it would be, well, completely nuts.

2) I feel really bad for the Queen in Aliens. I always feel bad for the monsters in movies.

2/14/09 11:24 am - happy valentine's day to all my friends

2/13/09 09:21 am - "Look what you DID TO HIM!"

Happy Friday the 13th! Wheeeee!

Another photo collage in lieu of an actual post;

2/12/09 11:11 am - I really wish I had something exciting to talk about...

...but I don't. So, I was thinking of just posting some photos (this format was inspired by fellow LJ pal,

gogetcokes) that I randomly picked from my Flickr collection.

2/3/09 01:52 pm - I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING...

at these lyrics to LL Cool J's DEEPEST BLUEST....which was from the amazingly farty and awesome killer shark movie, DEEP BLUE SEA.

There are some amazing lines in here-

Uh, my hat is like a shark's fin

[1] - Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin

[Repeat 1 (5x)]

Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths
I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
Looking for human flesh to rip my teeth through
Other fish in the sea but Barracudas ain't equal
To a half human predator created by a needle
Jet black eyes baby they stare while you sleep
When your Titanic sinks I'm the one you gon' meet
Hearing terrified screams they surround my team
All you see is trails of blood
Even God won't intervene
Nightmares of darkness
My apetite is heartless
Even if we related, you eliminated regardless
In the deep blue, underwater walls
Half man, half shark
My jaws don't fall

[Repeat 1 (8x)]

Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Killers sworn to beast
Swallowed them in flames
They switched my DNA
Trip me into Cool J
I can't fight the feeling
I'm born to kill prey
To survive an attack
There's only one way
Battle to the death
That's how sharks play
Weapons left behind
We dueling with the mind
You blind, crippled, or crazy
You're real easy to find
Struggling to flow with hemorrhages in your throat
Getting the lap dance while I smash through your boat
Eat your whole fam
Nothing left but a right hand
Clinging to a rail
Escape, attempts fail
You'll never make it home
Tear the flesh off your bone
Walking in undercurrents is a dangerous zone
I'm talking death out a moment's notice
You wasn't focused
Me and my crew strike
Like some underwater locusts

[Repeat 1 (8x)]

Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper

These waters are waist level
The hallway's flooded
Lost your scuba gear
The killer's cold-blooded
His name's LL
You don't really want it
I ate your ancestors
The ocean is haunted
I'm closing in cause I'm supposed to win
How the cold steel feel when it froze your chin
Should of stayed on dry land
Stroke while you can
Cause now you under pressure in the land of the damned
Abandoned pirate ships
Eels and sod scum
Fish that glow in the dark
The Titanic's hub
Underwater storms
You're blood is so warm
You're life vest is off
And that turns me on
Killer for centuries
The Gotti of the deep
In the next millennium
I'm still gonna creep
Sand under my belly, ocean over my head
Through the light in the shadows
You become the living dead

[Repeat 1 (12x)]

Yeah, DBS

12/31/08 11:42 am - I Don't Live Here Anymore

I watched Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore last night. It had been many, many years since I first watched it on VHS…probably saw it in high school? I really enjoyed it. It was a real time capsule of that time period. I was immediately intrigued and fascinated by the idea of just PICKING UP AND LEAVING. Just get rid of your stuff, get in the car and GO. Start over. Make an interesting life for yourself. The hotel rooms she stayed in were gorgeous in their tawdry sparseness. My favorite hotel room was the pink cinderblock one. I was so envious of her kid who got to stay in the hotel room all day long while she went looking for a job. I wish that I could do something like this. Just leave things behind…and start an adventure out there. Get a job as a waitress or work at a piano bar – do they even HAVE those anymore? Or is that too “old fashioned”? I guess it would seem self-conscious and pretentious to do something like that now.

Another image I loved from the film was the dreary, dusty bars she would go into – it would probably be like one o’clock in the afternoon and there were already a handful of people just SITTING there, drinking out of dirty glasses and smoking. And the barmaids looked amazing with their hairstyles and outfits. Does this sort of thing exist anymore? Do people just sit in bars and stare at the wall? There was something so intoxicating about the idea of life on the open road – although I know that in reality it would be incredibly difficult and not practical. How do you pay your taxes?

Another thing I kept thinking about while watching the film was that, back then, there weren’t goddam computers or online shit – you actually went out and TALKED to people. You put on your clothes and walked around looking for a job. I really need to go off “the grid” Sandra Bullock style – or is that The Net? I have to admit that I often fantasize about a hard life like that – where you worked hard and dealt with people – there was probably an incredible sense of accomplishment. I’m just too comfortable and lazy. I’m spoiled. I want to live in a hotel room and walk to work and have a crusty, old waitress sidekick who gives me fashion advice and tells me to loosen up and unbutton a few buttons.

Watching Alice also reminded me of when Dale and I would talk about running away and becoming waitresses at some dirty, dingy diner out in the desert – where the cook would yell at us all the time and we would just roll our eyes and smoke cigarettes and drink brandy out of a secret flask. I often revert to this daydream/fantasy while I sit here at my useless, boring desk and work on these useless, truly unimportant job assignments. I just want to make some old trucker happy by bringing him his key lime pie or coffee refill.

12/30/08 09:43 am

- i can't stop messing with my head...it itches. i keep fiddling with it and lost a couple of the little hair thingies. oh well. i know, super disgusto. People with OCD should NOT repeat NOT ever get cosmetic surgery. We are too prone to want to pick at it and fuck it up. Oh to hell with it.
- re-watched grey gardens last night since i've been thinking about it so much over the past few days. i bought a weird, obscure novel yesterday called GRISTMILL and it's apparently a horror novel based on the Beales and their 28 room mansion overrrun by cats...it's about a guy who becomes a prisoner in the house. according to some grey gardens website, the book was BANNED from grey gardens. sounds interesting and it was only $15 bucks for copy in "acceptable" condition. I hope it's covered in stains...that would be appropriate.
- emmett otter's jugband christmas makes me cry. i feel like a little boy again when i watch it (i got the dvd for christmas...although it's KERMIT-free now...those evil Disney corporate soul suckers now own the Muppets and took him out for some ungodly reason)
- work is so goddam dull and boring. but i have a window now in my new cubicle and that's very nice to look out at the trees and satelitte dishes that surround the building. wow - it's a lot of dishes actually.
- how come whenever i am out and see a dog...it's going to bathroom. EVERY time. I see someone walking a dog and I'm "aww!" - then it immediately starts shitting or pissing. I guess I have that affect on canines?
- why is it that i am actually entertained more by a Chuck Norris action trash movie than an actual "important" or "artistic" film, like a Fellini movie or an Almodovar movie? I recently struggled through Juliet of the Spirits (visually i liked it, but narratively I was put to sleep...and I could not follow that abstract, romantic dialogue) and All About My Mother (I didn't even make it through...I couldn't handle that horrible, abused transexual character)...but I recently watched Chuck Norris in Silent Rage...about an indestructible, genetically-altered serial killer and TOTALLY was entranced and sat through the whole pathetic thing. What does that mean? I'm lowbrow? Declasse'? I guess I'm no "cineaste" or whatever the term. I've never seen Gone With the Wind or Citizen Kane...or Casablanca. And I just have no desire to. Maybe if the main characters of Casablanca were all 300 pounds or were eaten by bears at the end would I even attempt to watch it. I even enjoyed Beethoven's 2nd more than most of the "classic" movies out there. Yawn. Bored. Bye.

12/29/08 09:44 am

I just never feel like posting anything here anymore - I really don't have anything to say or to share aside from movies watched or books I'm reading...or the odd movie person I've been thinking about. I guess that could be interesting to someone out there. I'm glad the holidays are coming to a close - no real reason; just want everything back on schedule I guess. I'm ready for a new year, even thought that really means absolutely nothing. It's just another day. Another number.

I did get some more hair restoration done on Christmas Eve. Haha, that sounds so strange - like an opening line to a short story. It's something that's still been bugging me. I've had it done twice already - two times in 2005, but it was still too thin and it was making me crazy. The next thing I'll probably be worrying about is my love handles. Blargh. I'm like a character on nip/tuck or something...I wish.

Got some neat presents on Christmas - Len's mom got us a wii...we'll see how that goes. I'm looking forward to playing it, but it's still in the box. Len got me some great stuff - like Return to Oz on DVD and some Grey Gardens related stuff, like a Maysles Brothers scrapbook and a CD of an interview with Edie. It's pretty cool so far, but hard to listen to as the audio is off of some tape recorder. I think I'm back into Little Edie. I wish I could be like her.

Um, what else. Facebook is boring me, although I did create a new Shirley Stoler group. I was bored one day and thought that she deserved to have her own Facebook fan page.

Other things I've been thinking about include V: The Miniseries (Len also got me a V novel called The Second Generation which apparently is the official sequel to the original miniseries...it completely ignores the events of the second miniseries and short lived weekly TV series)...um, bought myself the novelizations to the 60s "splatter movies" Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs. I started skimming through them and they are actually pretty funny (on purpose!) - H.G. Lewis is actually quite clever and funny. There is a whole segment in Blood Feast where the lead characters - the cop and the Connie Mason character - start falling in love and one of their favorite things to do is, during one of their dates, they would go to a junkyard and run through it barefoot. Whoever got hurt first "won" and the other would then tend affectionally to their wounds. Reminded me of something out of Cronenberg's CRASH!

All right. No more stuff. Bye.

12/3/08 12:51 pm

I'm bored, I have a headache and I feel like asking all of the wonderful, creative and funny people on my LJ friends list to answer some questions for me.

What's the last movie you bought? And why?
What are you currently reading?
What celebrity have you been thinking a lot about lately?
What's the last album you listened to in it's entirety?
Christmas cards...sending any out this year? Yes? No?
What director would you like to see more films by?
What popular culture mainstay do you absolutely despise? For example, The Beatles or All in the Family.

11/7/08 09:31 am - tuff turf

it's been an interesting, tiring week ya'llz...so, what is everyone's plan for the weekend? Sleep? Binge eating? Leave raking? Porno overload?

I'm planning on lots of sleep and work on some more Lego stuff. Here is an early shot I'm working on for Friday the 13th (the original).

11/6/08 11:14 am

Why do the LJ icons always look blurry when I upload a new one? I don't understand anymore.

Everyone in my work space is TALKING SO LOUD and it is kind of making me crazy. Guess I'll crank up the SOUNDTRACK TO ORCA as high as it can go. I wish I could bring myself to watch the incredible ORCA movie again...but it makes me way too sad, despite all the wonderful killer whale revenge-ness...I want to commission a painting of Orca leaping into the air while the town blows up in the background. Or a painting of this great still I scanned in from my movie still collection;

I watched five hundred million episodes of The Nanny last night. I'm obsessed with Fran's mom, Sylvia (hence my new blurry icon).

I'm ready for a fresh start, a new year. Hurry up 2009.

10/31/08 09:44 am

Week in Review:

All I've been listening to all week are the collected works of The Weather Girls aka Two Tons O' Fun. Their songs make me so happy. I found one of their albums online and I love every single song on it.

I'm also back on a Friday the 13th kick - I just bought a collection of some of the mini-series comics, including the two issue special on Pamela Voorhees. Has anyone seen the new teaser trailer for the upcoming Friday the 13th film? Although I'm always quick to dismiss these new remakes, I do admit the trailer looks quite interesting and the narration is perfect. I'm also happy that it appears they may use the original music from the films. There is one particular shot in the trailer that everyone is talking about. I think it's quite chilling and definitely is an update on the Jason we know and love.

10/23/08 09:10 am

Random thoughts since the year is sort of, kind of coming to an end. Um, basically I really haven't accomplished any of the things I've written about in this journal. A few entries back I talked about wanting to write this book of short stories. Well, that hasn't happened. I haven't even STARTED! I talk about quitting smoking and losing weight. Nope. Hasn't happened either. If anything, I'm glad I've at least done a few new Lego photos. I guess that's SOMETHING. Otherwise, it's literally GO TO WORK, COME HOME, WATCH SOMETHING, EAT, SLEEP. Now with my birthday coming up next month, I'm in that mode again where I want to completely reinvent myself by the time I turn 34. I want to quit smoking, go back to the gym AGAIN, be more creative, get stuff done, make something out of my life! So, it's always on my radar to do these things, but it's so hard and I'm just so tired all the time. I have an amazing, blessed and boring life and I'm certainly not complaining. I know that there are a lot of people going through serious shit out there. Maybe I should donate time to charity? Help out at an old folks' home? Adopt a Korean baby? Plant a tree? Call my congressman? All I want to do is lay on the couch and eat Mike & Ikes. Argh. I also need to figure out something to do about my WORK LIFE which is, clearly, a big waste of time. I'll add that to the list as well. I guess I'm putting too much pressure on myself - I don't think I can do ALL of this stuff on my birthday. Baby steps?

P.S. I also feel really bad that I've been out of touch with a lot of my online contacts. I never leave comments anymore and feel really guilty about that. I guess it's because I always try to think of something clever or funny to say, and I just give up. But rest assured, I do read all of my friend's entries.

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